At the beginning of this year, I was nannying for these two little gems:
I know. The cuteness is too much.
During this time my friend Hilary gifted me a daily meditation devotional titled, Surrender.
Most mornings I would make myself a cup of tea, set baby Lola in her rocker and read an excerpt out loud until she drifted into nap land. Also, my favorite quote happened to be, “Surrender to what is, let go of what was, have faith in what will be,” by Sonia Ricotte. Due to the current events of my life at the time, the word surrender felt very fitting.
It became my word. My mantra. My prayer. My theme.
2014 became the year Taylor learned what it means to surrender. In some aspects, I didn’t have choice, and in others, I had to consciously choose to learn. I surrendered a 7-year relationship. I gave up a place I made home. I let go of certain hopes and dreams but yielded to others. I had to accept and become comfortable with a lot of unknowns. I relinquished control of what I could not change, and subsequently that meant enduring the most change I’ve ever experienced in 365 days.
If I were to summarize what I learned it would be this:
Surrender is equal parts freedom and defeat. There is a certain power and greatness in both. When I surrender to a higher power, I am no longer the center of my life and therefore I begin to see this power in everything and everyone. Sometimes it is impossible to have a plan and that is okay. And in all honesty, the stronger I realize I am capable of being, the more intense the desire becomes to just screw it all and have a breakdown.
So, 2014…(insert a string of expletives): You were hard. You were great. I’m glad you’re over.
What is my word for 2015?
You can laugh if you want. I am aware this is a word that is used to describe warriors, severe weather, lion cats and/or Beyonce. But I’m around a lot of Irish people and they use it as an adverb for “very” or “extremely” (ex: “She was fierce loud”).
So, this is the year I will be more intentional, braver, sassier, and unstoppable. I will love, work, and play fiercely. Give me all you got 2015. I’m ready for you.
Happy New Year, everyone.
2014 by Slidely Slideshow