“I wear this hat that says Grandpa on it because I love my grandkids. I’ve got two of them. I haven’t seen them in a few years, though. I’m kind of the black sheep of my family.”
“Uh oh. You got me smiling.”
“She’s good for me. She calls me out when I’m lying or drinking. She knows my problems and she loves me anyway.”
“I want a full body shot because I’m fabulous, baby!”
Rita and her dog Gizmo, who I think is her doppelganger.
“You know what I always say: Don’t do what I wouldn’t do and don’t name it after me.”
“I started living on the streets when I was 12 years old, man. I lived in New Orleans for 10 years. I worked on a tug boat. Had myself a wife, house, daughter, grandkid. Then Katrina hit and an oak tree landed on our house. We came back to Des Moines but man, I lost everything.”
Guests make and sign a “Get Well” card for a friend in ICU.
“Canda was fucked up in the 1960s. That’s why I left. Came here to the land of the free and home of the brave, man. But you guys are screwed now.”
“I’m thinking about dying my hair blue. It’d go with my outfit, don’t you think?”
He goes by the name Hawkeye and I’ve never seen him not wearing Hawkeye gear. Go Iowa.
“Do you think this picture will get me a knight in shining army?”
This is Bryan, but she calls him “Too Tall”.
“My shoulders are my favorite part of my body but I’ve never had a picture of them. Can my portrait be of my shoulders instead of my face?”
R. Kelly’s ‘Bump n Grind’ is Jimmy’s ringtone. Everytime I see him this plays and I get “My mind is telling me no. But my body, my body is telling me yeeehuheeesss” stuck in my head.